Life’s Long Love Road

Holding on is hard…
Understatement; it’s heart wrenching
Empty promises are made that bring along false hope
Hearts are broken and the words, “We’ll always stay in touch” echo and pierce through my mind
No one ever stays in touch. It’s just what we say to lessen the pain of going different ways
Plans are made and we take separate paths
That’s how the game of life is played
I dream and hope though your memory will not fade
Holding on is hard…
Letting go is easy
I let go and I’m ready to move on
Still remain the memories
Sorrows and despair are filled deep within me
My heart can’t endure much more
Fragile and sensitive it can’t feel pain anymore
Darkness is what it feels like
As the song goes…
A “total eclipse of the heart”
An endless road only leading me onto the wrong way
A path I have paved myself and traveled much too long…
It’s blurry and I can’t seem to find where I am
Are things a reality or an appearance?
An illusion of the mind? Or perhaps it’s déjà vu?
It’s been going on much too long, yet I still hold on
Soon I will find where I’m going
Why am I traveling down this road again?
Only a crazy person travels the wrong way and expects it will soon be the right way!
Thoughts ponder through my mind…
Madwoman on the loose
I want to turn around and forget it all
Forgive you for all your mistakes
But memories are too vivid
Feelings too strong
Remembering my tears, confusion, humiliation, pain, and time lost and time wasted…
Times when I threw my pride away for a moment in your arms…
My utopia
Nothing could go wrong or so I thought
Mapping out every move, word, and hidden signs
Maybe things fabricated in my mind
Over analyzing to the point of danger
This can’t be in my favor
Letting go can be hard for some people, but hanging on gives me hope
Hope of future plans only the mind can cite
Should I act now and fight?
Fight for a person who begs me to leave their site?
Words have been said and fights have been fought with all might
It’s draining…
Understatement; it absorbs any of the sanity I struggled to keep
After all, society has groomed me to act sanely
It’s exhausting…
Yet another understatement; My body aches from head to toe
You say you care and go
Confusion is keeping me any from lucidity
Giving my all, my deepest and darkest secret
How did I know you would keep it?
To love is hard
To hold on to hate is even harder
Then why love and why hate?
All these emotions I would much rather escape
Emotions are too strong
I need to break free…Not for you or for anyone
Just for me
Like an everlasting sad love song
Playing in my mind repeatedly,
Your memory is there.
Searching for the truth I don’t care to find
The truth I know somehow will leave me blind instead of helping me find the light
The light that shows me how you truly feel
Let me believe what I want
Through our eyes everything is different
Will you be back?
I doubt.
What I felt when you left can’t be defined
And only breaks my heart more with time
This is my life’s love journey
The long road leading me farther, yet closer to the wrong path.


2 thoughts on “Life’s Long Love Road

  1. Very powerful and vivid. The emotions came through your words. Most can relate to feelings like this at one point in their lives.

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