My Friend, Foe, or Acquaintance?

A friend is someone who puts a smile on your face by just sending you a random message or telling you the most random, thoughtful idea you never thought about,  admires the changes you have made in your life and acknowledges them, sees the real you behind the façade you put up, breaks the wall you have built to protect yourself, opens your mind and imagination, pushes you to be the best you can be, offers you inspiration or is your inspiration at times, loves your imperfections, makes you smile when all you want to do is cry, tells you the truth about how you look in a certain outfit, checks up on you and calls you for no reason, and last but not least, a friend is someone who will never be the source of your unhappiness. They will never intentionally let a tear run down your face, hurt you or cause you any pain. It is impossible to hurt this person because they are a refection of your own happiness. The last thing you want in the whole world is to see them sad or be the reason they are sad.

The most important thing about a real friend is that they show you what the meaning of friendship is and until you find that genuine friend do you know the meaning. Friendship is a bond of trust and care. Rarely do you find true and honest friends, and when and if you do, it is a true blessing. We have many acquaintances in life, but not many friends. Too often do we give the label “friend,” and usually to people who don’t deserve it…

So are you my friend, foe, or acquaintance? To me these words seem to be intertwined in more ways than one.  How do you know you can really trust a person? How do you know that eventually this person you “trust” won’t end up hurting you? How can you feel safe in knowing this person genuinely loves and cares about you? That they won’t all the sudden turn their backs on you when you need them the most? Newsflash:  You can never really know, but there are signs to reveal if a person is worthy of your friendship. Our world is full of two-faced people who will smile in your face and then as you turn around their true colors show. Are they colors of hate? Jealously? Mistrust? Anger? Who knows really!  Being selective and choosing who to let into your life is easier said than done.  We become more and more selective in choosing our friends with experiences we have in life, whether good or bad. You could be friends with a group of people for years to finally come to the conclusion that they were never truly your friends. You think they are so you miss out on any signs that tell you, “Warning, stay away from these people!” They did not look out for your best interest and maybe your pain even gave them pleasure.  Who knows? We live in a very twisted sick society. So twisted that the things I hear about relationships or any kind of social interaction gone bad, no longer leave me surprised. Sorry if I’m coming off a bit too harsh, but no longer I’m I startled about the cruelty and evilness that exists within people. It leaves me to come to this conclusion: Never allow yourself to be vulnerable to any person. Choose wisely the people you do let in. As humans, we have the choice to pick who to let in and who to leave out. Not everyone is worthy of your friendship, time, energy, and love. But someone must be worthy, right? Right. Don’t feel discouraged if you haven’t found these people yet because they are very rare. Experience and growth will eventually lead you to these people; People who love and respect you for your imperfections, flaws, and you just being you. I have come to the conclusion that a person you should let into your life is made up of these 5 qualities:

1)   Time and devotion: A friend is a person who will sit and listen to you babble about the most random, boring issues but still pays attention to every single detail of what you are saying. Why? Because if you’re talking about it, it must be important to you. They’ll listen, not always voluntary, but that’s a different story.

2)   Caring: No matter what hardship or obstacle you are going through, a friend will stay by your side, offering you care and unconditional love and support.

3)   Honest and trustworthy: A friend who loves you will be honest with you at all times. You are willing to trust this person with your life, knowing they will not let you fall.  A friend will tell you the truth regardless of if it will hurt you or not. They look out for your best interest, not the things you want to hear. Anyone can sit and lie to you, but a friend will simply tell you the truth. Yes, the truth hurts, but you will get over it.

4)   Stands up for you: A friend will never leave you alone in any kind of battle. They will fight for you and never let anyone discourage you, hurt your pride, or put a frown on your face. Sometimes they are more affected by someone who hurts you than someone who has hurt them. Maybe they will end up hating the same people you do. Why would you like a person who has made your friend sad anyways? No matter what happens you know this person will always be there for you.

5)   Reflects your own happiness: You always want your friend to be happy and know he or she is doing well, even if you are temporarily not speaking to each other because of a silly fight. In other words, friends are a source of your own happiness.

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